Monday, April 5, 2010

visiting old friend

After some thinking, I decided to go to Easter dinner at an old friend's home. I brought some wine specific for the meal and some wine for the appetizers. When the door opened, my friend seemed rather surprised to see me. It was interesting, in the sense that I hadn't seen anyone in quite a while, and it was nice to see everyone. Some were new, some not so, and the chatter reminded me of when I was very little and visiting my grandmother's place and all the talk and laughter during holiday gatherings.

The only thing missing was that there was not a lot of kids, which really made the difference.

Kept myself busy, snapping photos, watching the interaction between the family members. The tension, the quick glances, the body language.

Of course, my friend overdid it with the appetizers as usual, and still wanted to do a full course dinner. Everyone was pretty stuffed by the time dinner arrived, and he was a little flustered by it all. His partner kept things moving in the kitchen, but I also couldn't help but notice that this was not the first time his partner squirreled himself away in the kitchen, as if not entirely comfortable with the family. When I brought it up later, when things had calmed after everyone went home and it was just me and my friend, he seemed slightly defensive, and claimed that his partner just wanted him to spend time with his family so he took over kitchen duties. I'm not completely sold on that explanation because it's not the first time or second time that it's occurred. But I just nodded, and left it alone.

I knew it was a perfect visit for him, because there was no need to talk or get too deep about anything, just keep it light, how's the weather, how the job kind of thing. Keep it simple, keep it light. It was like talking to a stranger who looks familiar. There seemed a disconnect. And I knew that having all those distractions of the family and the kitchen stuff was perfect to keep any conversation with him minimal at best. And it took care of a couple of things, in the sense that we get to see each other, seemingly spend some time together, and then not have to worry about seeing each other for awhile, because he took care of seeing everybody in one shot. Then he could hide himself away in whatever world and people he'd rather be in and with. I couldn't help but think that. Distracting myself with the camera and making small talk with his family was what got me through the day.

Meeting some more family of his was enlightening. All I could think of was 'night and day'. Viva la difference.

During the visit, I tried to make small talk, catch up with people and smiled throughout. I felt a little awkward as I think I overdressed a bit, everyone was casual, considering it was Easter. I am still so much my mother's child, my mother was the ultimate Virgo, fastidious to the t, making us dress up in our Sunday best.

I took the best photos of the set I took during the visit, cleaned them up, and sent them as attachments to my old friend with a short thank you note on the invite and that it was all very nice. Manners, manners, my dear.

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