another turn of what the ?

A friend writes me that "we have to hang out" and that it's "been so long". I write back saying, "well, how about dinner sometime next week?" The friend agrees, then gives availability as being Wednesday and Friday. Wednesday is no good for me, so I agree to Friday. Thursday comes, and I'm already thinking this person's going to cancel. Because they've flaked before. Numerous times. Too many times to mention. Yet, this person wants to meet. OK. Will give them yet another benefit of the doubt.

I say nothing. Friday morning comes and goes, and we're hitting to a little before noon. Nothing from this person. I decide to text a what's up and are we still on? Didn't hear anything for a good hour or so. Then the person writes almost tersely, "I'm at work. May have to postpone as I have to pack." I recalled the person had taken the time out when they reached out to me last week to squeeze in that little detail that they were heading out of town for some much needed time off.

Perhaps that was just to show off? I thoughtfully replied back, "OK. Have a good trip."

I was not about to get dramatic or make an accusation that basically the idiot forgot that they had made plans. Plus it was just a gut thing. An instinctual response. Perhaps they really had to fly out early morning next day, and didn't want to get mired in dinner and possible couple of drinks. That's fine. We're all adults. Plus, waiting til last minute to pack, that can always cause extra undue stress. Procrastination is a bitch, I get it.

Next day, I had to run some errands and get some laundry done. The bedsheets were overdue for a cleansing and a changing. So I took two loads of it down -- two sets of bedsheets, comforters and pillowcases to wash. While waiting for stuff to clean then dry, I texted asking if they were already traveling.

The person answers they didn't have a flight at that time but later in the day. 4:30 pm. I thought about that for a second. So...they didn't have an early morning rush to anywhere. Packing takes what, about an hour, two tops? If laundry needs to be done, then four hours easy.

Even if they went to bed early, and slept in til 10 am, they could've still got the laundry done, and be out the door and at the place to travel in plenty of time to spare without breaking a sweat.

I did not say anything. That confirmed it to me -- the person had simply forgot they had made these plans with me. I decided I was going to lay low. There was a reason why I didn't ever go searching for this person, because I saw the pattern they tended to encourage and develop with others, making others seems desperate and jumpy to see them. "When am I going to see you? I'm in town Tuesday through Friday, let's get together any time you want!" writes one desperado. Another writes, "I haven't seen you in so long! When can we meet up?" Another writes, "You wait until I get to Jersey to tell me you were home cooking! OH well! Another time I guess."

It's a sweet ploy, leading others to believe that you are so busy that your time is so precious that you blow off people and leave them begging and asking for face time with you. Life's way too short for mindfuck games, in my opinion.

If you don't want to hang with me, I'm not going to stress it nor stress you. Fuck that. I only want to hang with those who truly like me and want to hang out with me, not to have me around for their fucking amusement so they could feel superior.

Let's just say that the days of this person trying to dick me around for their amusement are clearly numbered.

petty assholes

I go out in the fucking rain in order to get dinner. Spend my hard earned money for a job I give two shits about in order to start saving for my career, pay down my debt, and move out for good.

And what happens? So and so comes in with a small plate of food from a person who could not summon the energy for close to a year to cook. Someone who is petty, vindictive, and a user -- and family. So suddenly this person is up for cooking when they see a paycheck coming in?

I already let so and so know that I have zero interest in eating any food this person may suddenly start creating as I suspected that this person might. Each time I was able to predict with 100% accuracy what this person's behavior was and what they were going to do.

Then we flash forward to so and so being an idiot and continuing to push for saint of the century by being everybody's friend and not wanting to upset anybody. I went in the fucking rain for the food. I went in the fucking rain because we were in agreement, at least I thought we were, about whether to take any fucking handouts from the vindictive petty one again.

Of course, so and so wonders why they haven't been able to get the petty one out of the house. Because they've enabled the petty one to death. But hey, blood is thicker than water, right? Let's let them step all over us, run the show, run our lives, simply because the petty one squatted you out?

Not all mothers are mothers. Anyone can give birth. The mother part comes from actually nuturing and taking care of you, looking out for you, putting your needs above one's own. Yet I don't see that here, there's certainly no history of that here. And yet, the blood calls. Blood is thicker than water to justify being abused and taken advantage of.

This is why as time has gone on, I have totally lost interest, have become actually disappointed and now repulsed by the bullshit that is allowed to occur simply because of relations.

This is total bullshit. And I hope so and so finds someone who likes being made a carpet as much as so and so does because by doing what so and so is doing, and then harping on another relative who is using tough love tactics on this same petty person by saying "good luck, I tried, it doesn't work" tells me that the only difference is that this other person actually has a more healthier sense of self and is actually concerned about the petty one getting off their haunches and getting a life of their own so they are not a burden to the family or anyone else for that matter.

There's nothing wrong with this. Yet it scares so and so to death. So and so likes to have people dependent on them, makes them feel important and useful.

I am so fucking done. If I could come into some major funds, I'd be out of here and out of their lives in a heartbeat because so and so simply doesn't want to understand that in order to have their own life, they have to claim it and if it means putting so called user family 'over there' at a distance, so be it. But so and so won't do it no matter how much so and so is put upon. So and so likes being abused and can't imagine a life doing anything else to the point that they can only think of suicide if things WERE to get worse. So and so cannot imagine just getting their own life, this is way too scary for her.

I'm glad I was able to write this down because I was actually angry about this tired old topic we keep dancing about on. It's time to take that old record off and find a new one.

Although my tactic is: if you are a mean spiteful turd to me, I will give you exactly what you dish out and you will eat it. Fuck you.