not in a billion years

Not in a billion years did I think I would find myself in this situation. Again.

I am angry, upset and frustrated at myself. For allowing myself to get lulled into a sense of false security. To allow myself to get distracted, to get lulled into being stupid. I allowed myself to take my eyes off the prize.

What I want doesn't seem to matter. It just seems the circle of space, of the perceived freedom I thought I had as an adult is getting smaller and smaller and choking me harder and harder, and NOT in a good way.