Dreams and family relations

Yesterday my sister popped into my head. The one I called a sister, even though techincally we were not blood related. But I found that a very minor insignificant point. She did not, however. And there was a deliberateness to her separating.

We haven't spoken to each other in over a year simply because she cannot come clean with her sneaky actions. She and I had a falling out because I knew she was not being truthful and was deliberately interrupting people's lives over it. She chose to have her girlcrush intact as opposed to realizing she needed to wake the fuck up and live the life she chose and created. She did not have a gun pointed at her head but wants to have her cake and eat it too like the spoiled five year old she is.

To say I am still very annoyed and angry about her soap opera games is putting it mildly. The disappointment in me screams. Yet from time to time, she will pop in my head, and I miss her. And that just makes me more angry. Because she did this to herself and was willing to throw me under the bus for some stupid fantasy.

So this morning I awoke to a dream where I saw my godchild and realized how tall she'd gotten. She still looked the same, but had gotten taller and we were sitting at my mother's house. Somehow T and C got to visit her and bring her to visit me. It was like, my sister trusted them to bring my godchild to me. I found that rather odd.

All I kept thinking was how big she'd gotten. I was in awe mixed with a bit of sadness.

Then I was at some bus stop, had reached a destination and finished my visitation and needed to get on another bus to go home and went to buy my ticket and find my bus. Then I woke up. Interesting.