Survival

When I think about where I'm going or what I'm doing or how the hell did I get here, it can be dizzying. Or upsetting. Or I have moments of wonderment and awe, depending on where my grit and tenacity levels are. I got things done simply by ignoring the laughing and pushed past the bullshit to get what I needed and get where I had to go. The gumption hasn't been there in a while and now I'm trying to find it within me yet again.

I listen to the daily horoscopes, done in spanish, and try to translate for funsies or have a friend translate for me so I get the fullest meaning possible.

My worry is that I will not outrun the darkness. I like the light, I love the sun. The energy. Sometimes I wonder how much fight I have left in me. I worry about money and about my luck and health. Then I feel a little nudge, and a little pep enters my step. "Hey, luck is coming your way," I hear a whisper, clear as a bell. Is that my inner voice or outer angel?

Vaya con dios.

We all wrestle with the angel or with ourselves. And there are times we win and surprise ourselves. We gain strength and confidence to move forward each passing day. I just put one foot in front of the other as I watch others lose balance and fall. I try to help where I can but I realize I need all the help I can get.

And another loses the battle.