Hating ones self equals no kind of real love

The shingle is out, the advice is free. What more can one ask for?

Today I am addressing the woe is me. Especially when it comes to the subject of love and telling the truth. The problem is, most people demand it but can't really handle it. The truth can hurt, it can sting, it can destroy a person's fragile self-esteem. Now mix a demand for the truth with someone whose ego clearly hinges on what you will or will not say and you know you are damned either way. The issue then becomes, do you let them go down in flames alone or have them take you with them?

Hence why a lot of people simply won't discuss further why things aren't working out or are no longer viable. Times change, people change. What was fine six months or a year ago isn't going to work now. Yet some people are not willing to change or want things to stay the same. They forget to communicate or lull themselves into a false sense of security. The thing is -- security is an illusion. We are human, we are alive, and things must move forward or die.

The dying part scares every single person out there.

Today was the post that got me, why someone hates their true self. I found this very telling.

If you hate yourself or certain parts of yourself that are part of your 'true self' - how do you expect others to be attracted or stay attracted to you? "Why can't you tell me the truth?" demands this hurt soul, positioning themselves as someone who is truthful and wants it from others....yet clearly can't see that they don't. No one wants to lower the boom on anyone, unless they've got a natural mean streak in them.

In the end, a lot of people simply just want to walk away and move on, the less damaging things said the better. The explanation is going to hurt, and sometimes there is no explanation, no simple one anyway. It's just that things change, people change, and that means it's time to move on. Yet for these simple poetic souls, they want closure, they want an explanation, they want it to be more complex than it needs to be. "What's wrong with me?" they wail. There may be nothing wrong.

However, you cannot control whether another person stays or goes. That is their decision to make. Communication is key, definitely. But in the end, both have to be willing to communicate and listen to the other and want to work at it.

I think of my past experiences. And each one, whether painful, embarrassing, long or short, were valuable learning lessons. I learned what I would accept and not accept, I learned where my limits were, and learned to create boundaries, and how to better communicate with a guy. I learned what guys were not worth a second glance and to trust my gut more. I learned what questions to ask, learned how to observe, and enjoy flirting. I learned what it was like to be left and to leave another. Both are unpleasant. Anyone who says otherwise is a fool or a liar.

I no longer apologize for being a female and for using my feminine wiles. I am sick and tired of having to choose between two roles, the madonna and the whore. I have simply decided to be me and learned to be happy with me. There is no one else on earth like me and there will never be another. Time is short and I must use my time wisely, not waste it wondering on what I can't control. And that is something I treasure.

There may be more to this post so I'll post it now and revise as I get more inspired.