another turn of what the ?

A friend writes me that "we have to hang out" and that it's "been so long". I write back saying, "well, how about dinner sometime next week?" The friend agrees, then gives availability as being Wednesday and Friday. Wednesday is no good for me, so I agree to Friday. Thursday comes, and I'm already thinking this person's going to cancel. Because they've flaked before. Numerous times. Too many times to mention. Yet, this person wants to meet. OK. Will give them yet another benefit of the doubt.

I say nothing. Friday morning comes and goes, and we're hitting to a little before noon. Nothing from this person. I decide to text a what's up and are we still on? Didn't hear anything for a good hour or so. Then the person writes almost tersely, "I'm at work. May have to postpone as I have to pack." I recalled the person had taken the time out when they reached out to me last week to squeeze in that little detail that they were heading out of town for some much needed time off.

Perhaps that was just to show off? I thoughtfully replied back, "OK. Have a good trip."

I was not about to get dramatic or make an accusation that basically the idiot forgot that they had made plans. Plus it was just a gut thing. An instinctual response. Perhaps they really had to fly out early morning next day, and didn't want to get mired in dinner and possible couple of drinks. That's fine. We're all adults. Plus, waiting til last minute to pack, that can always cause extra undue stress. Procrastination is a bitch, I get it.

Next day, I had to run some errands and get some laundry done. The bedsheets were overdue for a cleansing and a changing. So I took two loads of it down -- two sets of bedsheets, comforters and pillowcases to wash. While waiting for stuff to clean then dry, I texted asking if they were already traveling.

The person answers they didn't have a flight at that time but later in the day. 4:30 pm. I thought about that for a second. So...they didn't have an early morning rush to anywhere. Packing takes what, about an hour, two tops? If laundry needs to be done, then four hours easy.

Even if they went to bed early, and slept in til 10 am, they could've still got the laundry done, and be out the door and at the place to travel in plenty of time to spare without breaking a sweat.

I did not say anything. That confirmed it to me -- the person had simply forgot they had made these plans with me. I decided I was going to lay low. There was a reason why I didn't ever go searching for this person, because I saw the pattern they tended to encourage and develop with others, making others seems desperate and jumpy to see them. "When am I going to see you? I'm in town Tuesday through Friday, let's get together any time you want!" writes one desperado. Another writes, "I haven't seen you in so long! When can we meet up?" Another writes, "You wait until I get to Jersey to tell me you were home cooking! OH well! Another time I guess."

It's a sweet ploy, leading others to believe that you are so busy that your time is so precious that you blow off people and leave them begging and asking for face time with you. Life's way too short for mindfuck games, in my opinion.

If you don't want to hang with me, I'm not going to stress it nor stress you. Fuck that. I only want to hang with those who truly like me and want to hang out with me, not to have me around for their fucking amusement so they could feel superior.

Let's just say that the days of this person trying to dick me around for their amusement are clearly numbered.

First soup of the season

After seeing people at home coming down with some kind of cold, possibly, even flu, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I went and pulled out a soup pot, filled it with water to the halfway point, added one healthy looking potato, chopped down to smaller pieces, and put the pot onto the stove and turned on the flame to low. I then threw on my coat and went downstairs to gather some stuff. At the vegetable stand, I gathered some lovely crisp celery, some fresh deep green cilantro, a couple of packets of fresh carrots and a big beautiful yellow onion and some garlic, prepeeled and in a bag. After looking around for anything else to put in the pot, I went to the register, had it rung up, and went home, to start peeling, chopping, cutting and slicing the vegetables to add to the soup. I kept the onion separate, and diced it up to put in a separate pan to sweat them a little, along with some freshly chopped garlic. I put a whole small bag of peeled garlic into the soup, some chopped, some whole, into the mix. I used all the celery but only a little bit of the cilantro. After heating up the onions and cooking them, they started to get transparent. I added some salt, then after tossing them, put them into the soup, which already had the rest of the ingredients in there. Then I checked every half hour or so, with the soup on low flame, to watch it bubble away and soften the veggies. I noted the liquid got a bit thicker, thanks to the potato. After about four hours, I knew it was ready.

I tasted it. It was fantastic. I knew the longer it sat on the stove cooking away, the more the flavors of the vegetables would come out and really compliment each other and blend well. It was tasting more and more like a great soup. A healing soup. I focused on that thought. Heard the front door and realized some family had come home. "Hmmmm," I heard one of them say. The soup kept on bubbling away and I kept checking it, tasting it.

I realized I did not buy fresh baked bread, which would have completed this soup to perfection. But it would do. I finally think the soup is ready. The liquid is thick, but not too, but perfect for me. The carrots and potato look soft, juicy and pliant. The smell is incredible, rich, aromatic, homey. I honestly did a double-take -- did I smell anise? Perhaps that is the onions, that carmelized and sweetened in the soup after softening in the pan.

While I'm not a big soup person, I actually liked this. Simple. Classic. Hearty. Filling. Had some regular soft white bread with it -- I realize that it's not the same as the thick crusty bread that should have been with this. Hmmm. But good nevertheless.

It was nice to make something on the old stove. Next week, I shop for the new one.

augh

Awoke from dreams to cramps. AUGH. Swallowed some ibru and put off running errands today. Feel sluggish and crampy, not a very good combination. Did make a phone call and got my phone order in. Other than that, the shopping will have to wait for next week. I'm happy, because everything's coming together. This year will end on a relative high note.

Outside it's cloudy and dark and grey. I'm inside, curled up with my dog, which is just as well.

Interesting, I got a conflicting edits error notice. Who the hell else would have access to this? This is the place where I get to vent, to just let it out and then move on. This is the cheap version of getting a therapist, which can get costly and that's another headache I don't want or need right now.

Went to run errands. Tomorrow I do some volunteer work before coming home and doing laundry and getting ready for Monday. I noticed for the past couple of days something was missing, and then it suddenly appears as this one nonchalantly comes and plunks it back in the place I would've expected it to be all along.

So I know I'm not losing my mind. It's simply when things get moved, it's because this one makes it so, and lends out when they want to, instead of the cheap bastards this one is enabling...oops, helping, can buy their own shit. If you got money to eat and hang out, then you got money to buy your own shit. What the fuck, I'm not your grocery store, this second hand bullshit is retarded and fucked.

looking to preserve my serenity and sanity

The past few days I've found myself talking more about the job, and there's not much of a sounding board to go use, simply because I don't have that kind of thing going on. I found myself trying to work it out in the shower, just so I wouldn't have to bother anybody with my concerns and experiences on the job. It is a day job, I keep reminding myself, and I'm there to take care of what I really want in life. I want to do a good job and be a good employee, but at the same time, it's also to take care of what I need.

So just trying to work that balance. The holidays are rapidly approaching and I am staying focused.

Wilmington has suffered loss of thousands of jobs and the best that some of these celebrities do is offer some free comedy shows and a dinner? And if you don't have a job and are homeless, you have to come with some ID or proof that you "live" in Wilmington and in a certain zip code?

Then the spokesman comes with a half-ass apology, stating that although they know this won't solve the economic situation, it's at least something. Are you kidding?

Racheal Ray, move your business to Wilmington. That'll get some people there working again. Jay Leno, why don't you air your show from there? Bet it doesn't sound as glam as, say, New York or Los Angeles, but heyyyy...that'll show you really put your money where your so called concerned mouth is.

Until then, you don't have people like Brad Pitt beat by a long shot. Or Oprah.