Stomach doing flip flops thinking about old job

Looking for work but took a break. I started going over what happened the last day I was at my old job, and how I wished I could have said some things, but it's history, it's over. I have to stop letting myself get into old dramas and focus on today, more positive things. And know that things are changing all the time and that good will come of it and come to me, most especially.

An occasional nibble of interest, some tests and filling out paperwork and applications, and then it's....back to the drawing board. Once in a while I'll get close to an interview, and then you start to see the little truths come out. Everyone is on their best behavior during the interview process. But you get to see, do things really go smoothly, do people really say things just to draw you in? Most jobs I knew I was going to start the minute I saw that they were showing me potential work and what they were looking for, and stating they saw on my resume that I could handle it.

But when I don't see or hear any of that, I know that it's simply a lookee-loo and a waste of my time. Oh god, have to use the bathroom. Stomach upset. Augh!

Few days' respite

The past couple of days I have been staying at K's place, away from the confines of my other housing. It's been a nice change of pace, being able to go to the bathroom when I want, not having to worry or debate or prepare to brace myself for what I will encounter or not when I open the bedroom door. How absolutely fucking refreshing! I can't begin to describe. I feel rested and hopeful once again.

Tomorrow I face the task of getting my dog (could only kidnap one, the smaller more portable one) back to the place, in order to enjoy a Friday night watching a show for a couple of hours. Then it's back to the apartment, and facing the task of finally cleaning, putting back in order and airing out the room. I'm hoping that the laundromat is open this weekend to wash the bedsheets and pillowcases.

Today I spent cleaning the 'second home' by cleaning and scrubbing the bathroom after walking the dog and feeding and bathing him. Then I scrubbed the kitchen sink, swept the floors and did laundry, bedsheets, pillowcases and towels. Also cleaned what few clothes were lying around so K can face the week with a clean place. Once K got home from school, I went about cooking an early dinner, and it was good. I had fresh veggies to use and cook with, and K was energized to do some homework and take a nap on the fresh bedsheets.

As for me, I was able to buy the shampoo I was long overdue on and my hair feels and looks a LOT better. Last night I had a bad cough, so I think that's why I was also so gung-ho about sweeping and cleaning.

K was going to drop by the other house, I guess to see if everything was going Ok, and one phone call put K on to just forgetting that idea and coming here. Surprise surprise. Tomorrow will be a doozy. I am praying that all turns out well and we are able to go out tomorrow night. I know someone will be mighty pissed, meaning K, if we don't. Not that it will change anything but I'm not getting my blood pressure to rise over this.

And if things get retarded, I will just stay in the room and take off the next day or take off later that same night. Not worried.

Game plan: part-time job with decent pay, not long hours. Hmmmm....will continue to look.